your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
