im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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