Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
