true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
