Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
