You don't have asthma, your pregnant
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize