quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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