is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
