im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
