dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
