also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
