Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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