Do you still have your period?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
