He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
apparently the secret to your success is patron
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
