is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
