My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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