I hate all girls vehemently.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
