I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He's a Shit stain on my heart
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
