i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
