Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize