I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
