Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
