If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
