I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
