I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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