Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm at about main and main street
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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