when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
