so explain again why im purple
no
Jerry, you need to find god
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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