I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
