Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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