If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
As shirtless as possible
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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