I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
