What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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