fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just had sex on a roof
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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