Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
