I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize