yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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