idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
