I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
