i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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