i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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