Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
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