she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
