Please don't use social media to get back at me.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
