i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize