Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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