I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
