I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize