Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
