I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
