I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
