It's just like the Real World with babies
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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