Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
