no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize