Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
