I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize