fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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