By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
