Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Randomize
