this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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