reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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