whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
