mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
false alarm, still single
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