He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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