i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
