It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I pour the whiskey from now on
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
