tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
