it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Boobs are out for the taking
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
