Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
