we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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