Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
