Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
