My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
