your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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