Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
