Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
