Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he shaved USA in his pubs
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
