i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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