Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize