i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Come on in and take your pants off
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